My Religious Background

I was raised Southern Baptist. I actually loved going to church when I was a child, and I loved to learn about the Bible. I was "saved" and baptized into the church. About the age of fourteen or so I started realizing that, according to the preacher and everything I was learning in Sunday school, I was definitely going to Hell. Every Sunday it was the same, and then through the week I would dwell on the fact that I was doomed. It got to the point where I just couldn't take it anymore and I stopped going. Just after I stopped going to the Southern Baptist church, I was too busy dealing with my raging hormones and the changes associated with puberty to think about church.  For the next thirty years I lived a hedonistic, bacchanalian life without even a thought about God.

Then I became homeless. I had no choice but to turn to God. I had no one else. I knew that I couldn't deal with a Baptist church like the one I grew up in. I didn't believe their teachings anyway. I believed in Christ, his virgin birth, his teachings, his crucifixion, and his resurrection. I just didn't believe in the way the Christian Church had twisted his teachings for their own agenda.I didn't know anything about Hinduism, Buddhism, or Paganism/Wicca at that time.

I.found an ecumenical Christian church that had a pretty cool liturgy that I got into, so I started going there. During the liturgy the Priest would cleanse the area with sage, he would invoke the four quarters, communion, and then there would be "praise dancers." I went there for about a year. The church was in a building downtown, and several buildings away there was a new age bookstore. I would go in there from time to time and look around. The crystals kept calling me and a particular picture of Shiva did as well. I wanted to learn about the crystals. What were their metaphysical properties? I kept thinking that maybe there was one that would help me. Actually, as I'm writing this, I realized that I'm still searching for that elusive one stone that will set things right. I wanted to know who this Shiva was. Why was I so drawn to him. I started practicing Paganism and exploring Hinduism.

I explored and dabbled in Paganism and Hinduism for several years then, through a series of bad decisions I became homeless. I really don't want to go into all that right now but during that time I got introduced to The Russian Orthodox Church and I feel in love with it. I converted and was baptized in 2001..There was one piece of doctrine that I didn't believe and I didn't like it but I accepted it. Finally after a couple of years I couldn't take it anymore. I kept feeling like I was just living a lie....I had tried and tried to live by that particular piece of doctrine but I just couldn't anymore....so I left the Church and shortly thereafter I went back to Hinduism and Buddhism. This time though my studies went deeper and I was much more serious about it. My beliefs have grown and evolved since then. Now I have merged the parts I feel to be true from each faith that I've studied, and incorporated them (quite successfully I might add) into a form of worship that sustains and nourishes me.

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Enjoy life!